De-Escalate Conflict in 90 Seconds | Doug Noll

How do you calm an angry person in 90 seconds or less—without defending yourself, explaining, or arguing back?

In this episode of the Balancing Act podcast, host Andy Temte speaks with Doug Noll—a trial lawyer turned peacemaker, award-winning mediator, and author of De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less. Doug is also the co-founder of the Prison of Peace project, where he trained maximum security inmates to reduce violence using empathy skills, and he teaches decision making under uncertainty and conflict at Pepperdine’s Straus Institute.

Doug shares the neuroscience behind affect labeling—the simple practice of naming someone’s emotions to quiet the brain’s threat response—and reveals how two words (“you feel”) can transform relationships, resolve team conflict, and build trust.

From the story of a prison inmate who reconnected with her son after 18 years to a CEO who turned a toxic culture around in six months, this conversation makes the case that empathy isn’t a soft skill—it’s the hardest and most important leadership skill there is.

Tune in to episode 241 hear Doug’s story and learn what it really means to listen someone into existence.

AndrewTemte.com