Overthinking About Monogamy

If we can love our children and friends separately but equally, why not our romantic partners? Such is one of the many compelling thought exercises in favor of polyamory, a relationship structure that is by no means new, but has experienced an explosive recent surge in popular media, starring everywhere from New Yorker thinkpieces to Succession plotlines to reality shows like Couple to Throuple. Interrogations of monogamy as the default, morally superior approach to love have become more mainstream than ever, though the representation is not always the most inclusive or inviting... and in a society shaped by centuries of “amatonormative” family dynamics, poetry, and romcoms, dipping a toe into the waters of polyamory can feel scary, or at least taboo. It’s easy to lose yourself in thought spirals on the subject (Is polyamory more “natural” than monogamy? Why do some people make being “poly” their whole personality? Who even has time for multiple partners? Is it prude to think this way?). To help us puzzle through the confusion, philosopher and host of the Overthink podcast Dr. Ellie Anderson joins host Amanda for a sparkling discussion of romance, jealousy, history, and media from a philosophical perspective.