Do This ONE Thing to Help Improve Your Marriage

After conducting interviews and observation with some 40,000 couples the Gottmans, prominent marriage researchers, found that one of the best predictors of success in a marriage at the six year mark is whether spouses turn toward each other or whether they turn aware from each other.

When a spouse gives their attention, including gentle eye contact, body posture, words of affirmation and encouragement etc., they are meeting their partners bid for attention and affection.

Often we misinterpret or misunderstand our spouse's bid for attention and affection. This may be because it is expressed in anger or through complaint (e.g. you always leave your shoes in the hall) or because we interpret it through our own distorted lens of communication.

A bid is a call or cry for attention--an opportunity to give our loving attention and affection to our spouse. When we turn toward our spouse we give them our attention--the attention that they've made some plea or bid for. When we turn away from our spouse we fail to give our attention or communicate in some way that our partner is not worth paying attention to.

Turning toward our spouse deepens and fosters connection whereas turning away from our spouse fragments and ruptures our connection with them.

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