The Joe Rogan Crash Out About Us (I Am Not A Sexy Vampire!)
January 9, 2026
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Based Camp with Simone Malcolm Collins Episodes Around January 9, 2026
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1:11:40Now PlayingThe Joe Rogan Crash Out About Us (I Am Not A Sexy Vampire!)
YouTube Description
as posted by the channelWe react to the wild JRE #2434 moment where Kurt Metzger & Joe Rogan spiral into theories about our family being the real-life inspiration for Dark Shadows (vampires, Illuminati bloodlines, warlocks?!), us being secret billionaires pulling strings with dumb journalists, techno-puritanism as Luciferian AI-worship, and more.
We break it all down: What they got hilariously wrong (we're broke, not Bilderberg bosses), what they surprisingly got right (Joe kinda nailed our God-in-the-future views), why this is the coolest thing ever, and how conspiracy theories about us are basically fan fiction we secretly love.
Bonus: Our actual family lore, why we're anti-mysticism/anti-idolatry puritans, the real origin of techno-puritanism, and why we'd happily join the vampire Illuminati narrative if it means more people having kids. 😂
If you're new here: We're pronatalists building a religion & culture to save humanity from demographic collapse. Come for the chaos, stay for the based takes.
Timestamps below 👇
Watch the full JRE clip context in the video!
Support us & get extras: patreon.com/c/simoneandmalcolmcollins
Website: pronatalist.org | collinsinstitute.org
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#Pronatalism #JoeRogan #ConspiracyTheories #TechnoPuritanism #DarkShadows
Timestamps
[00:00] Intro: Joe Rogan just shouted us out on JRE!
[01:30] The viral journalist clip & why people think we engineered it
[03:45] Kurt Metzger's conspiracy meltdown: We're Illuminati vampires?!
[06:20] Dark Shadows = Collins family confirmed? (We wish)
[09:10] Joe Rogan fact-checks the bloodline + our real family history
[12:40] Techno-Puritanism explained: AI God, future humans, & why it's NOT Luciferian
[16:55] Why we're radically anti-mysticism, anti-Kabbalah, anti-idolatry
[20:30] The "dumb journalist" myth: We have zero control & love inbound chaos
[24:15] Secret societies, Peter Thiel, Bohemian Grove – what it's actually like
[28:40] Why cabals DON'T exist (even if we'd love one)
[32:10] Our real origin story: From pragmatic religion-crafting to Bible-based techno-Christianity
[36:50] Pronatalism as the seed crystal – polygenic screening unlocked the movement
[40:20] Conspiracy theorists vs. fertility rates (Kurt's worldview analyzed)
[44:50] We want MORE conspiracy theories about us – let's build the lore! 🧛♂️
[48:30] Final thoughts + shoutout to Joe Rogan for the love
[50:00] Outro: Join us in saving humanity (and maybe become a vampire puritan)
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