Weird love advice that works: Be a dog. | Gretchen Rubin | Big Think
February 14, 2019
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1:28Now PlayingWeird love advice that works: Be a dog. | Gretchen Rubin | Big Think
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The research is sad but true: People are often more considerate to friends and strangers than they are to their partners.
Gretchen Rubin's advice? When your partner walks in the door, show them as much affection as your dog does. Be excited to see them! Give a real hello and a real goodbye.
Appreciate your partner: It's the easiest thing to do, and the easiest thing to forget.
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GRETCHEN RUBIN:
Gretchen Rubin is the author of many books, including the block-buster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. She also has a top-ranked, award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, and a popular blog, gretchenrubin.com. She lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.
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TRANSCRIPT:
GRETCHEN RUBIN: When you think about romance and sweethearts and spouses, one of the most striking observations from the research – it's sad, but it's true – is that, often, married couples will treat each other with less consideration than they show to their friends, or even to strangers. And when I read this, I thought, oh my gosh, can that be true? And I realized, of course it's true, because the people that we're married to are so familiar to us, they are so close to us; they are really part of our lives, and it's very easy to take them for granted or to make them the brunt of a bad mood or a short temper, and to forget to use our consideration, our good manners, our gentle language.
And so one of the things that I remind myself of all the time is that I want to show as much consideration to my husband as I would to any passing stranger or friend. And I also try to remind myself to show my husband as much or more affection as my dog, because when my husband comes and goes from the apartment, I want to give him a real hello and a real goodbye. I want to give him a kiss and a hug and really look him in the eye and say that I'm glad to see him. If my dog can do it, I can do it.
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