Family members send butterflies 'to heaven' on behalf of deceased loved ones

IDAHO FALLS — A small group of parents and children gathered on a windy evening recently to symbolically send a message to loved ones who have passed away.

The handful of widows and widowers, young and old, along with their children, ranging in age from 6 months to 18 years old, each received a butterfly. They whispered a prayer or wish to their deceased parent, child or spouse, and the butterfly carried it into the air.

“They’re taking the wishes to heaven,” Anna Long says. “It’s a really special way for us to remember them.”

The butterfly release celebrates the final meeting for members of the group Heartstone. Twice a month since February, under Long’s direction, they have met, counseled, cried, laughed, grieved and learned from others who are dealing with death.

“Most of the kids here have lost either a mom, dad or both,” Long says. “If there was a sibling or someone they were very close to or a caregiver they lived with, then our program would also fit well with them.”

Long moved to Idaho Falls from Boise nearly two years ago after her 39-year-old husband, Sam, unexpectedly died. At the time, there were not any grief support groups for her young son and daughter so she decided to organize Heartstone.

During the bimonthly meetings, children gather with a professional counselor and talk while doing artwork, crafts and other projects. Surviving parents or guardians meet in a different room with another counselor and learn from one another.

“Everybody shares their grief and learns from each other, plus the kids get to have a friend who just knows and understands,” Long says.

Krista Leavitt’s husband, Mike, died in October after falling off a ladder at their Idaho Falls home on her birthday.

She’s been coming to Heartstone with her 18-year-old son, Hunter, and 10-year-old daughter, Mikayla.

“It has given them the opportunity to see that there are other kids with the same thing that has happened to us,” Leavitt says. “It also gives them a safe place to talk about their dad with others, and there’s not any pressure.”

Mikayla was nervous before she attended Heartsone for the first time but says the group now feel likes family.

“It just helps me because I know I can talk to other kids and be open,” Mikayla says.

Heartstone is able to operate thanks to fundraisers and donations from Breaking Boundaries, the Civitans Club, Promontory Point and a Secret Santa who donated $3,000 in December. Curriculum used in other Idaho grief counseling groups has been implemented, and the counselors who run the program say they’ve seen positive changes in the children and adults.

“It’s honestly just an open conversation,” says Eric Davenport, a Heartstone counselor. “You can discuss whatever is on your mind. It’s processing whatever you’re going through.”

Although the butterfly release means Heartstone is over for this particular group, Long is planning to start a new session for others in the fall.

“I’m so grateful for the families and the communities who have supported me,” Long says. “I know this is making a difference, and I’m glad I could be a part of it.”