Cleetus P. Twatwaffle Says Kash Patel is Not an Alcoholic
May 8, 2026
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16:01Now PlayingCleetus P. Twatwaffle Says Kash Patel is Not an Alcoholic
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as posted by the channelCleetus P. Twatwaffle Says Kash Patel is Not an Alcoholic
Hawk brings his signature political satire character Cleetus P. Twatwaffle back to defend FBI Director Kash Patel against reports that he has a drinking problem. The case for Patel's sobriety? Simple: if you had seven cases of your own brand of bourbon on a private jet and you were an alcoholic, there would be no bourbon left. Airtight logic.
Along the way, Hawk covers meeting Kash Patel in person at a Stockton, California event, receiving a signed bottle of Kash Patel Bourbon numbered "9," and making an Epstein Island joke that got him immediately escorted out. Patel's autographed Etsy merch store gets a full review, including a memorable piece featuring Patel and Pete Hegseth standing in front of a burning Capitol each saying "Hold my beer."
Hawk runs through Patel's literary catalog, including "Government Gangsters," "The Plot Against the King," and the 2000 Mules tie-in, noting that Patel managed to write multiple books in which he is also the hero. An exclusive scoop on Patel's upcoming fourth book rounds out the coverage.
Kyle Rittenhouse's spider bite, Charlie Kirk's tribute merch, and a hemorrhoid interruption also make appearances. Cleetus wraps up by reminding viewers not to protest, because ICE is watching.
#KashPatel #Patel #CleetusP #CleetusTwatwaffle #KyleRittenhouse #Rittenhouse #PeteHegseth #Hegseth #ElonMusk #CharlieKirk #Kirk #DonaldTrump #Trump #JeffreyEpstein #Epstein #FBIDirector #PoliticalSatire #Hawk #HawkPodcasts #MDG650Hawk #BreakingNews #CurrentEvents #GovernmentSatire #Bourbon #MAGA
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