Hawk
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Coffee with Hawk Episode 063: August 31, 2024
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September 1, 2024
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September 1, 2024
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27:08Now PlayingIn this riveting installment of "Coffee with Hawk," our host dives into the political circus, armed with nothing but a bad hair day and a burning desire to roast everyone in sight. Hawk gleefully skewers Donald Trump's abortion flip-flops, painting a picture of a man so confused he'd probably ban tic tacs if someone told him they were related to abortion. Meanwhile, JD Vance gets the award for "Creepiest Views on Women," leaving listeners wondering if he time-traveled from the 1950s or just really, really wants to star in a reboot of "The Handmaid's Tale."
As Hawk navigates through the treacherous waters of polls, swing states, and electoral votes, he manages to make statistics sound almost as exciting as watching paint dry – but with more sarcasm. Kamala Harris emerges as the queen of petty, running ads in Trump's backyard just to ruffle his feathers, proving that modern politics is essentially a very expensive version of middle school drama. And let's not forget the grand finale of Jack White telling Trump to keep his "fascist hands" off his music, because nothing says "rock 'n' roll" like a strongly worded cease-and-desist letter.
In a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud, Mark Zuckerberg's attempt to curry favor with the GOP backfires spectacularly, with Trump threatening to make him the world's most overpaid prison inmate. As Hawk wraps up his caffeinated rant, he promises that his hair won't look "so 1978" next time, leaving us all to wonder: was it the hair or the political landscape that was more outdated? Tune in next time, when Hawk will undoubtedly continue to make the dumpster fire of American politics sound like the world's most entertaining tragicomedy.
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