Diogenes: Philosopher and Epitome of Chaotic Neutral

Picture a philosopher. Probably an old bearded dude in a sweater vest? How about a homeless dude tickling his pickle in public? That was Diogenes of Sinope. He slept in a tub on the street, ate in the marketplace, defecated in the theater, and urinated on anyone he didn’t like. He despised civilization, but took full advantage of living in ancient greece - he studied from Socrates, he trolled Plato in the middle of his lessons, he even once met Alexander the Great. Alex came into town one day excited to meet the famous philosopher, and found Diogenes squatting in his tub. He said, “You are renowned for your philosophy, I myself was trained by Aristotle and have a great deal of respect for your kind. Is there any favour I can do for you?” “Yes, quit blocking the sunlight.” “Haha! If I were not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes” “Yeah, if I were not Diogenes I’d wish to be Diogenes too”. Diogenes was later kidnapped and sold into slavery, his master asked “What work do you do?” “I’m afraid my only skill is in governing men, so I’m a pretty **** slave but if you know anybody who needs a master I’m your boy”.