Let's Generalize About Men - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

GET THE SONG

"Let's Generalize About Men"

Starring Rachel Bloom, Donna Lynne Champlin, Vella Lovell, Gabrielle Ruiz

Written by Adam Schlesinger, Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Aline Brosh McKenna

Valencia:

RIGHT NOW WE’RE ANGRY AND SAD.

Heather:

IT’S OUR RIGHT TO GET RIGHTEOUSLY MAD.

Paula:

AT EVERY MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX;

Rebecca:

OH GOD WE HATE THEM!

Paula:

LET’S NOT DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THEM AT ALL.

Rebecca:

LET’S JUST DRINK A LOT MORE ALCOHOL!

All:

AND THEN HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER AS WE MAKE A BUNCH OF BLANKET STATEMENTS!

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN

LET’S TAKE ONE BAD THING ABOUT ONE MAN AND APPLY IT TO ALL OF THEM

LET’S CONFLATE ALL THE GUYS

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN!

Paula:

ALL MEN ARE COMPLETELY REPRESSED

Rebecca & Heather:

UH-HUH.

Valencia:

ALL MEN ONLY WANT TO HAVE SEX.

Rebecca:

THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS, ALL THREE BILLION MEN ARE LIKE THIS.

Paula & Valencia:

ALL 3.6 BILLION MEN.

Heather:

ALL MEN ARE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED.

Paula:

WHEN ASKED HOW THEY FEEL, EVERY MAN’S ALWAYS GRUNTED!

Rebecca:

And why do men never listen and only think about themselves

AS OPPOSED TO WOMEN WHO ALWAYS LISTEN AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES?!

Paula & Valencia & Heather:

Oooh, I hear you, girl.

All:

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN

LET’S GET SUPER LIT AND NOT ADMIT THIS IS SOME KIND OF PRIMAL RITUAL WE NEED NOW AND THEN

MAYBE OUR SPIRITS WILL RISE IF WE

GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN

Heather & Valencia:

ALL MEN ARE STUPID AND CHILDISH.

Rebecca & Paula:

EVEN THE ONES WHO ARE “SMART AND MATURE.”

All:

ALL EVERY MAN DOES EVERYDAY IS WATCH PORN, EAT WINGS, BURP, FART AND SNORE

Rebecca:

Hey, what about GAY men?

Paula:

Oh no, they’re fine.

Heather & Valencia:

GAY MEN ARE ALL REALLY GREAT. EVERY SINGLE ONE!

Rebecca & Paula:

THEY’RE NEVER MEAN, JUST SASSY –

THEY’RE ALL COMPLETELY ADORABLE AND FUN!

All:

SO LET’S FOCUS FOR NOW ON STRAIGHT MEN

LET’S JUST GENERALIZE ABOUT THEM.

Valencia:

They’re all monsters!

Paula:

They’re murderers!

Rebecca:

They’re rapists!

Heather:

Totally.

Paula:

Wait… I have sons!

Heather & Valencia & Rebecca:

YOUR SONS ARE GONNA BE RAPISTS!