The Demons of Childhood Trauma | Aaron Stark | EP 405

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson sits down with public speaker and mental health advocate Aaron Stark. You might recognize Aaron's name from his deeply impactful TED Talk, “I was almost a school shooter.” They walk through his life story and discuss the all-too-real result of deep parental trauma, the psychology of abuse that shapes self loathing and self harm, the drivers that nearly pushed Aaron from victim into monster, and the real, tangible act of kindness that saved lives.

Aaron Stark was almost a school shooter. As a dark and destructive teen, Stark almost committed a terrible attack. Today he is a happy father of four, and he wants to do all he can to help anyone on that path to find a way into the light again and to see that they matter.

After watching the news coverage of the Parkland school shootings, Stark wrote an open letter, “I was almost a school shooter.” This was sent to local news 9KUSA in Denver and was the feature story on “Next with Kyle Clark.” This story gained national attention and over 17 million views in a very short time, which propelled him into a life of activism for mental wellness awareness. He has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC and has published an article in the Washington Post. These features were followed by his viral TEDx talk, “I Was Almost a School Shooter” that currently has over 14 million views and is shown in schools, colleges, and universities, all the way up to the Dept. of Education.

This episode was filmed November 15th, 2023

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- Chapters -

(0:00) Coming up

(0:12) Intro

(1:18) Raised in abuse

(9:00) Patterns of pathology across generations

(12:12) Separation, protest, and testing emotional barriers

(16:29) When darkness becomes a party favor

(17:56) Violence at home

(20:49) “They lost the ability to parent me” - help was impossible

(22:49) Kidnapped by his father

(26:10) Used for control, testing off the charts in school

(31:37) Personality traits then and now

(37:46) Step father was a career criminal

(40:45) Big enough to fight back

(43:27) Self detriment as self defense

(45:30) Primates and “predictable low status”

(49:27) Why people make a bad situation spitefully worse for themselves

(52:00) The reality of pain, blood sacrifice

(55:21) Being told your worthless until you champion that identity

(57:23) Three parallel lives: home, school, and Mike

(59:12) Treated like a normal human being, the tool shed

(1:04:07) Choosing not to die, calling social services

(1:05:45) Scorched earth

(1:06:56) Participating in your own torture

(1:08:02) Living in a field, surviving winter on free samples

(1:09:34) Nearly freezing to death, the bottom of the tsunami

(1:11:32) Troubled friends, “we talked about killing people”

(1:12:28) Planning an act of evil

(1:16:00) Saying goodbye to Mike

(1:17:32) What a friend is supposed to do

(1:19:30) Reminded of humanity, it only takes one effort

(1:22:50) Saved by one small act

(1:26:35) Cutting out the family hooks

(1:31:08) Living on his own, getting a job, adjusting

(1:35:22) A message to those on the edge

// LINKS //

All socials

// COURSES //

Discovering Personality

Self Authoring Suite

Understand Myself (personality test)

// BOOKS //

Beyond Order12 More Rules for Life

12 Rules for LifeAn Antidote to Chaos

Maps of MeaningThe Architecture of Belief

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