Couples Therapist Advice on Break Ups, Love Languages, and Conflict | Vanessa Bennett & John Kim 161

In this episode, I spoke with Vanessa Bennett and John Kim about the dynamics of relationships. Together we discussed their book that they co-wrote, called "It's Not Me, It's You," different relationship attachment styles, common relationship problems, vulnerability and discernment, couples sleeping in separate beds, and much more.

Vanessa Bennett is a licensed Holistic Psychotherapist, Clinical Entrepreneur, Author, and the Co-Host of the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast. Vanessa received her Masters in counseling at the Pacifica Graduate Institute, where she focused primarily on Counseling Psychology.

John Kim, also known as "The Angry Therapist," is a licensed Therapist and Life Coach, Host of The Angry Therapist Podcast, a best selling Author, and the Co-Founder of the TAT Lab and Lumia Coach Training.

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[0:00] Intro

[7:22] Writing the Book "It's Not Me, It's You"

[14:26] Being in a Relationship with a Therapist

[15:46] Common Relationship Problems

[16:36] Differences in Love Languages

[20:51] Struggling to Receive Words of Affirmation

[23:02] Saying "No"

[29:45] The Compromise of Self

[35:41] Handling Arguments

[37:25] Anger is a Motivating Emotion

[40:41] Developing Vulnerability and Discernment

[42:20] Masculine Energy

[45:59] Socialization vs. Natural Temperament

[48:05] Identifying Resentment in Yourself

[50:51] Overcoming Resentment

[55:22] Owning, Not Blaming

[57:43] A Generational Shift in Perceiving Divorce

[59:17] Sleeping in Separate Beds

[01:02:14] Co-Writing "It's Not Me, It's You"

[01:05:07] Vanessa and John on Social Media

[1:05:37] Outro

#itsnotmeitsyou #relationshippsychology #couplestherapy #attachmentstyles #mikhailapeterson