Dominatrix Whips Couples into Shape with BDSM Therapy | New York Post

Kinky couples need therapy, too. That’s where dominatrix Lia Holmgren comes in. The New York-based intimacy coach charges $500 an hour for adventurous pairs looking to explore their BDSM side.

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Holmgren also provides apartment therapy. On a consultation in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the 35-year-old blonde suggested a “blow job chair” and other sex-conducive furniture. Family photos, however, had to go. “She got rid of all the unsexy things in our bedroom,” one client, wearing a leather dog mask to protect his identity, told The Post.

From "‘Kink shrink’ whips marriages into shape with BDSM couples coaching"

If you ask Lia Holmgren, Anna Steele and Christian Grey had the right idea.

How to stage your bedroom for the best sex of your life

The intimacy coach — like a couples therapist, but kinkier — thinks a little power play can benefit a relationship.

In her Chelsea office, she charges clients up to $500 for 90-minute intimacy counseling sessions. There, she helps couples open the lines of communication about having submissive or dominant roles in the bedroom. Sometimes this means helping couples figure out what their particular fetishes are by suggesting books, or types of porn, she thinks they might like to explore. The goal, she says, is to improve their sex lives and bring them closer.

Though Holmgren isn’t a licensed therapist, she has a lot of experience in this area. Before she started counseling couples two years ago, the Czechoslovakia-born FiDi resident was a professional dominatrix who got paid to fulfill men’s fantasies of being submissive. Her résumé also includes stripping and organizing sex parties, as well as what she calls “vanilla” work in real estate.

Manhattan intimacy coach Lia Holmgren helps client Kim Aquilina and her partner work through a roadblock in their BDSM dynamic.

The Post saw this in action at a recent session with Holmgren’s regular clients, Kim Aquilina and her partner, who preferred to remain anonymous for professional reasons. Holmgren asked them how their forays into domination were going.

Holmgren reassured the couple that their problem is a common one for couples just starting to introduce BDSM to their relationship: Outside the bedroom, men may find it difficult to cede the kind of control they’re used to, she says.

Her advice to Aquilina was to make it sexy for her partner, too — and to get his consent to play.

Aquilina, 38, says Holmgren’s services have helped the couple navigate the murky waters of kink.

Talk therapy isn’t all Holmgren offers: Deep-pocketed clients can access her premium services, including a mood-setting bedroom makeover that costs up to $25,000. She says she’ll even help them get situated in their bondage contraptions. (While she usually leaves before the couple gets into the swing of things, “sometimes I do stay,” she says.) She’ll also accompany couples to “pretty expensive” sex shops to help them pick out outfits and toys. Another package she offers costs $9,999 for a couple, and includes travel to Germany, where she’ll curate a couple’s risque week — complete with a sex party at a club she owns in Munsterland, Germany, and a stay in a luxury chateau nearby.

But for all of the bells and whistles she can offer, the key is really learning how to communicate with each other, she says — and enjoying the good things that follow.

Her client, Mark, who declined to give his last name for professional reasons, says seeing Holmgren all but rescued his 15-year relationship with his wife. The two had been “in and out of traditional couples’ therapy” because of their lukewarm sex life, says the middle-aged Manhattanite who works in finance. He visited Holmgren on his own at first, to get advice on how to introduce some of his kinks into their lives. She advised Mark to schedule a bimonthly check-in with his wife to discuss their marriage concerns in a “loving, kind way,” Mark says.

Removing some of the barriers of communication that would usually make them angry or frustrated with one another gave way to more trust in the bedroom, he says. Little by little, he introduced some kink into the relationship. He “always knew [she] enjoyed foot rubs,” so he started incorporating them into their foreplay. Long story short, they went from having sex once a month to four or five times a month.

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