Prof Sam Vaknin
@samvaknin·443K subscribers·2.3K videos
Contract with Your Abuser - Part II
Posted
April 6, 2011
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April 6, 2011
10,235
123
1
1.21%
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7:57Now PlayingEverything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse click on this link
5. Encourage him to assume responsibility for the positive things in his life and in your relationship. Compliment the beneficial outcomes of his skills, talents, hard work, and attitude. Gradually, he will let go of his alloplastic defences -- his tendency to blame every mistake of his, every failure, or mishap on others, or on the world at large.
6. Make him own up to his feelings by identifying them. Most abusers are divorced from their emotions. They seek to explain their inner turmoil by resorting to outside agents ("Look what you made me do" or "They provoked me"). They are unaware of their anger, envy, or aggression. Mirror your abuser gently and unobtrusively ("How do you feel about it?", "When I am angry I act the same", "Would you be happier if I didn't do it?").
(From the book "Malignant SelfloveNarcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 ebooks, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships)
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