Narcissist? Trust Your Gut Feeling: 4 Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships (Intuition Explained)

Four Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships:

1. If it feels wrong - it is wrong.

2. S/he is trying too hard? Involves too much conspicuous and ostentatious effort? It is fake.

3. Too good to be true? It is not true.

4. Verify everything: 90% of the time, people lie and 90% of the time we believe every word they say (90:90 rule or base rate fallacy).

You feel ill at ease because you are flooded with info that generates cognitive dissonance (he says one thing and behaves another) and emotional dissonance (I am so into him, I will ignore). This leads to confirmation bias.

But all the info is there (misogynist vs. narcissist vs. sadist), available to your intuition.

Philosophers have a lot to tell you about your gut feeling and whether, when, and how you should trust it.

LITERATURE

Ariely’s studies on dishonesty

Neuroscience of unthinking trust

Everyone lies all the time

We trust everyone all the time

Ariely’s new book about lying

Everyone cheats all the time

TED Talks on lying

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