Where Have All the Wo/Men Gone?

With no strings attached sex freely available from multiple women, men no longer feel the need to invest in relationships or commit in any way. One night stands (including on first and only dates) and hookups have become the dominant form of sexual practice in the West and beyond.

Agentic (usually drunk) women now pick up men for casual sex the way men used to pick up “easy women” well into the 1960s. Such emancipation and equality among the genders is liberating and laudable.

But women then proceeded to adopt a masculine self-identity, erasing differences in gender roles and upending sexual scripts. They descended into dysregulated and defiant promiscuity. Faced with such anarchy, men completely withdrew from the scene forcing women to become more manlike, narcissistic, and even psychopathic.

Militant radical feminists espoused precisely such an outcome: a world where men are sex toys, women are empowered and self-sufficient, and “patriarchal” institutions such as marriage and the family are gone.

Oddly, their agenda accomplished, anxiety, depression, suicide rates, and substance abuse among women have skyrocketed. Women are not too happy in a world without “real” men, it seems.

Lisa Wade describes in her studies how young people feign and signal casualness in sex also by getting intoxicated. This had become the hegemonic sexual script and by far the most dominant and widespread sexual practice among the young.

Most of these youths - boys and girls alike - crave intimacy and want to have relationships, but these are considered bad taste, faux pas, and signifiers of revolting and ominous clinginess and neediness. So, no one dares to communicate openly.

The alcohol, casual sex, and inevitable self-trashing serve to numb their emotions and drown their disappointment, frustration, and pain as well as resolve ego dystonic cognitive dissonances and disinhibit.

Getting emotionally involved portends heartbreak, so only 6% expect a second night stand. But many fantasize, imposing on the dreary, impersonal proceedings a narrative that caters to their denied emotional needs.

The intrusion of fantasy into casual sex renders it autoerotic and solipsistic. Only a small minority of participants of both genders actually orgasm.

It is a dystopian barren landscape, replete with extreme deficits in relationship skills and all pervasive intimacy anorexia.

The typical emancipated Western woman had gradually transmogrified into an imitative rendition of a somewhat psychopathic man.

Men are reacting to this gender vertigo by adhering to either of the equally dysfunctional camps of toxic, misogynistic, or opportunistic masculinity and complete withdrawal.

Studies have uncovered the “stalled revolution”: women are increasingly describing themselves in hitherto traditional masculine terms and are adopting behaviors and traits that were once of the preserve of stereotypical macho men.

Many women in the West are aggressively defiant with their docile intimate partners, but at the same time totally sexually self-trashing and submissive with abusive, disrespectful strangers (usually when they also abuse substances).

These women give to predatory strangers freely what they adamantly deny to their mates, sexually and emotionally.

This bizarre duality is part of the power play in the intimacy war zones that such women call “relationships” where the conflict between the genders is unfolding in full force.

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