No Intimacy Without Personal Boundaries (Q&A)
July 22, 2021
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11:12Now PlayingNo Intimacy Without Personal Boundaries (Q&A)
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as posted by the channelThe ability to thrive in intimacy is inextricably linked to the capacity to maintain and enforce personal boundaries. In personality disordered patients, both are sorely compromised.
Intimacy, however fleeting and of whatever nature (even merely physical) is a tightrope act.
On the one hand, it involves the disclosure of vulnerabilities and the relaxation of firewalls intended to fend off unwarranted or coerced attention.
On the other hand, real intimacy entails the maintaining of personal autonomy, agency, and self-efficacy. In other words: of separateness.
To attain intimacy, one needs to feel sufficiently secure of one’s core identity, self-worth, self-esteem, internal regulation, and boundaries to invite another person in.
The mentally ill tend to enmesh, engulf, merge, or fuse with others - even as they push them away and flee (approach-avoidance repetition compulsion).
This dysfunctional attachment style is the outcome of twin contradictory anxieties: of abandonment and of engulfment.
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