3 Reactions to Narcissistic Abuse: Pride, Defiance, Normalizing

Transcripts

Narcissistic abuse has insidious, slow-burning phases (boiling frog testing) and abrupt phases (maternal figure devaluation).

There are three types of pathological mindsets of victims of abuse:

1. "Professional" victims whose victimhood is an integral and crucial part of their identity and sense of self-worth. Abuse is their comfort zone and they provoke, elicit, and solicit it. Their self-imputed superiority, both moral and personal, helps them to regulate their sense of self-worth.

2. Defiant: these victims are engaged in a sempiternal power play with their abusers and react with abuse of their own to any maltreatment. The spiral of mutual torment is hard to break because drama antics and trauma bonding intermingle. The victim's conduct gradually becomes increasingly more psychopathic or narcissistic.

3. Submissive: the majority of victims feel bad in the abusive environment and seek to extricate themselves emotionally or physically. But a minority of victims succumb to their fate and accept it unquestioningly, as a force majeure. They reframe the abuse and engage in "malignant optimism". "It is not all bad", they exclaim: "It is not what it seems."

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