Narcissists Never Criticize: They Vanish YOU Instead

Narcissists never criticize. They use language that appears to be harsh, sadistic criticism in order to crushingly eliminate the externality, separateness, autonomy, and agency of a threatening external object.

That which does not exist - cannot be criticized. We can pass muster only on that which exists.

When we say "this is missing" - we really mean to say: "there is something that IS NOT in this, which IS."

Absence is discernible only against the background of existence. Criticism is aimed at changing. In other words, it relates to what is missing.

But it is no mere sentence, or proposition. It is an assertion. It is goal-oriented. It strives to alter that which exists with regards to its quantity, its quality, its functions, or its program / vision.

All these parameters of change cannot relate to absolute absence. They emanate from the existence of an entity. Something must exist as a precondition. Only then can criticism be aired: "(In that which exists), the quantity, quality, or functions are wrong, lacking, altogether missing".

The common error - that we criticize the absent - is the outcome of the use made of an ideal. We compare that which exists with a Platonic Idea or Form (which, according to modern thinking, does not REALLY exist).

We feel that the criticism is the product not of the process of comparison - but of these ideal Ideas or Forms. Since they do not exist - the thing criticized is felt not to exist, either.

But why do we assign the critical act and its outcomes not to the real - but to the ideal?

Because the ideal is judged to be preferable, superior, a criterion of measurement, a yardstick of perfection.

Naturally, we will be inclined to regard it as the source, rather than as the by-product, or as the finished product (let alone as the raw material) of the critical process.

To refute this intuitive assignment is easy: criticism is always quantitative. At the least, it can always be translated into quantitative measures, or expressed in quantitative-propositions.

This is a trait of the real - never of the ideal. That which emanates from the ideal is not likely to be quantitative but qualitative.

Therefore, criticism must be seen to be the outcome of the interaction between the real and the ideal - rather than as the absolute emanation from either.

Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Author Page