Prof Sam Vaknin
@samvaknin·443K subscribers·2.3K videos
Narcissistic Abuse: Phase 2 (Live Questions by Mark Thomas Beare, MPIT originator)
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January 6, 2026
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19:10Now PlayingWATCH Narcissistic Abuse21 Signs You’ve Recovered, Healed, Moved On
The Live will be available here
On YouTube Live: responding to questions by Mark Thomas Beare, the originator of MPIT
“What’s the biggest missing piece in the narcissistic-abuse recovery space that keeps survivors stuck, and what’s the simplest step-by-step fix you’d teach if you could redesign the whole field?”
Unidirectional splitting morality play. It would be difficult to fix because it fits so snugly with victimhood social ethos.
“If you could give survivors one test to spot diluted, plagiarised ‘recovery content’ in under a minute, what would the test be?”
Any text that aggrandizes you is fake and wrong. Any pretentious use of therapy speak is suspect.
“What falsifiable claim should the recovery space adopt so it stops rewarding slogans—what would be the simplest ‘this is wrong’ check?”
Complexity is irreducible. Anything shorter than 10 minutes is likely to be wrong. Anything that is summarized, telegraphed, comprehensive, bullet pointed, or mnemonic is equally suspect. Recovery and healing demand patience and hard work, it is a process, not an event.
“What’s one falsifiable prediction about recovery that the field should adopt — something we should reliably observe when people are actually exiting the shared fantasy — and what would count as evidence we’re wrong?”
No disparaging introjects traceable back to him (incl. flying monkeys)
No ego dystony or hesitancy in decision-making
Ability to trust restored
No doubting your judgment
Independent reality testing restored (no cognitive distortions)
Sense of agency and self-efficacy restored
Autonomous motivation
No catastrophizing (imminent doom)
No anticipatory anxiety
No addictive cravings or sentimental nostalgia coupled with separation insecurity (abandonment anxiety)
No seeking of same type partner (from narcissistic to anaclitic mate selection)
No maternal or parental impulses (no narcissistic transferences)
No “us”, only “you” (no merger or fusion in a shared fantasy as well as intact boundaries, no enmeshment or engulfment)
No attempts to mind read
No self-sacrificial, people pleasing impulses (no emotional blackmail)
No infantile defenses
No self-idealization or self-devaluation, just realistic introspection and self-awareness
Restored functioning: social, workplace, as a parent, empathy
No emoting by proxy (crying in a movie)
No trust aversion or dread of intimacy
No victimhood stance – assuming personal responsibility
As opposed to borderlines, narcissists possess introject constancy (the persistence of cathected introjects long after the external objects they represent are decathected).
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