INEVITABLE! From Narcissistic Supply to Narcissistic Abuse

A FAILURE is someone who never attains success: he tries hard repeatedly and invariably misses the mark, for a variety of reasons, some of which are beyond his control.

A LOSER is someone who fails to translate his serial successes into long-lasting beneficial outcomes. He fails to leverage accomplishments and triumphs into permanent fixtures in real life. He is not self-efficacious.

To obtain narcissistic supply (attention, sex, power, money), the narcissist has to act, pretend, fake, supplicate, and grovel. He has to groom and motivate potential sources - people he considers immeasurably inferior to him - to part with time and other resources in order provide an uninterrupted flow of fuel to the furnace of his False Self grandiosity.

Such ineluctable and constant kowtowing and dependency are humiliating and amount to a massive, suppurating narcissistic injury. The narcissist feels entitled and firmly considers himself as worthy of special concessionary treatment incommensurate with his real-life circumstances and regardless of any investment or effort he opts to not make.

The pent up resentment and rage he feels at the structural, institutional, lopsided, and cosmic injustice of it all are the main reasons for the narcissist's virulent and rabid abuse. By egregiously mistreating his sources, the narcissist restores a semblance of balance and buttresses his shattered fantastic sense of superiority.

Another function of narcissistic abuse is - counterintuitively - assist in idealizing the intimate partner (and thus both ameliorating the narcissistic wound and enhancing the narcissist's grandiosity, being the mate of someone so special): if the partner survives the purgatory, it proves her mettle and resiliency as well has her dedicated commitment and faithfulness. It renders her unique and inordinately strong, worthy of the narcissist's godlike attributes.

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