Prof Sam Vaknin
@samvaknin·443K subscribers·2.3K videos
Need to be Needed: Why We Hate the Self-sufficient, Truthtellers (Conference Presentation)
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May 19, 2026
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19:41Now PlayingVideo Presentation in Addiction Medicine, Mental Health and Psychiatry, Singapore, March 2027
The self-sufficient and self-contained are hated. This is true even when they are altruistic and charitable, helpful and supportive.
LR: we need to be needed. Self-sufficiency is perceived as humiliating rejection, negation of worth and existence, narcissism. It triggers envy and resentment. It is asocial and solipsistic. It is socially threatening, it makes us feel unsafe.
Truthtellers are hated for the same reason: the truth is perceived as an attack, an insult, a passive-aggressive assault hiding behind virtue signaling. It causes narcissistic injury and undermines social cohesion. In short: it is sadistic.
Hostages are told to humanize themselves, to flesh out their stories: names, personal history, family
Everyone is acting this way nowadays, as if warding off some evil intent and evildoers, as if we were all taken hostage by potentially hostile forces.
It is somewhat histrionic: an abrupt transition from transactionalism to intimacy.
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