Remy: My Favorite Things (TSA Version)

A reined-in TSA would be the sound of music to many Americans' ears.

Watch all of Remy's Reason TV music videos here

Parody of Rodgers and Hammerstein's "My Favorite Things" written and performed by Remy. Music tracks mixed and mastered by Ben Karlstrom.

LYRICS

Barking out orders to the lined up masses

Patting them down on their chest, groin, and asses

Blue denim packages, grabbing your peen

These are a few of my favorite things

Plundering iPads and pocketing 40

Acting like I am a suppository

Groping survivors of mastectomies

These are a few of my favorite things

Scanning your schnitzel, your johnson, your noodle

Saving that data and chain-yanking poodles

A penis that shape oh it's probably Steve

These are a few of my favorite things

Seeing a man trying to plan

A lacrosse jihad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Making you throw away half-empty Yoohoo

Taking your rights and selling them back to you

Seeing good people lose their dignity

These are a few of my favorite things

They just searched me for seven minutes! In heaven

Their budget's ten times bigger than post-9/11

In undercover tests they barely catch a thing

Give us a list of your favorite things

Treating free people like potential muggers

Patting more children than lonely Josh Duggars

Seeing our new intrusions met with apathy

Seems like a good list of favorite things

Fights against terrorists we have eased up in

But to us you still give the blue-gloved cupping?

Who do you view as the real enemy?

What's your idea for solving these things?