The Worldwide Church of Bashar al-Assad
January 2, 2020
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3:52Now PlayingThe Worldwide Church of Bashar al-Assad
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as posted by the channelAre you lonely, isolated, generally human garbage? Are you a neo-Nazi or a Twitter tankie with an anime avatar and eight flags in your handle? Are you a sex offender with multiple convictions or a wannabe journalist with serious daddy issues? Whatever the case, there's a place where you'll be accepted for who you are, a community where YOU belong!
Come on down to the Worldwide Church of Bashar al-Assad and accept the LION OF DAMASCUS into your heart as your personal lord and savior! If you can't make it to a service, just pray the Assad's Prayer below:
Our Father ya Bashar, who art in Damascus, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy bombs be dumb, on hospitals as on apartment blocks.
Give us this day our daily food rations from Russia.
Forgive us for questioning your wise rule,
as we call anyone who criticizes you a regime change neocon Al Qa'ida sympathizer.
And lead us not into democracy, but delivery us from ISIS.
Also those dead kids are all crisis actors and the White Helmets are Al Qa'ida!
SUPPORT ME ON PATREON SO SHITBAGS WHO LOVE ASSAD DON'T WIN!
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