The Only Two Choices I’ve Ever Made

In 2022, Honor Jones reflected on how motherhood raised her standard for relationships. ⁠

“The usual lament—that the romance of marriage dissipates in the commotion of child-rearing—isn’t what happened to me. Rather, being a parent brought me so much joy,” Jones wrote. “Children are supposed to be the death of freedom. But that hasn’t been my experience exactly. The death of free time, certainly, but not of free thought. It was my marriage that took that from me. I could be myself and be a mother. I got divorced because I could not be myself and a wife.” ⁠

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“Getting married was expected; all I had to do was say yes. But I’ve come to realize that I’ve really only chosen two things in my life: motherhood and divorce. Children are supposed to make divorce much harder. For me, they made it easier,” Jones continues at the link. “I know that this sounds strange, that it makes people angry. People I know, people I don’t know. Probably my children themselves will feel angry about it someday, and sometimes they already do … But I don’t really think the joy of them can dissipate. They are wonderful because they grow and change. Hopefully I can grow and change too. I want to be a better mother. But you can’t give yourself to another unless you have a full and free self to give.” ⁠

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📸: Getty