Why Dad’s Side of the Family Tends to Miss Out

Many people have stronger bonds with their maternal relatives, Chiara Dello Joio wrote in 2023. Why?⁠

⁠

Researchers have identified a so-called matrilineal advantage—the tendency for people “to rate relationships with their mother’s side of the family more favorably,” which is found even though kids are more likely to live near their paternal grandparents. ⁠

⁠

A key reason may be that women are more likely to fulfill kinkeeping roles, putting them at the center of these familial networks. But the matrilineal advantage ”doesn’t just apply to the women who do the kinkeeping and caregiving—it can extend to their whole side of the family,” Dello Joio wrote. “Mothers tend to do the majority of the child care and housework; one study found that women are more likely to take on the brunt of those duties even when they earn more than their spouse does. They’re also more likely to receive babysitting help from (and simply spend time with) their own family than from their husband’s family. Eventually, then, tighter relationships can form between kids and the maternal relatives they’ve grown up around, and that can last into adulthood.”⁠

⁠

The matrilineal advantage is less pronounced in some cultures than others. “But in many countries, even as equality in the workplace has advanced, there has been significantly less progress at home: Mom is still commonly the chief-executive parent,” Dello Joio continued. “The irony is that the same patriarchal system that has historically left women with disproportionate child-care responsibility has also given many of them an invaluable closeness with family.”⁠

📸: Richard Baker / Getty