Don's Diner: A Song About Trump At Game Three

Animation by CHUNK.

Vocals by Stephanie St. John.

Apologies to Suzanne Vega.

~~~

I have made it past security

At Madison Square Garden,

I have overpaid for tickets

On the secondary market,

And I got here hours early,

And I couldn’t bring my pocketbook

Inside—the Secret Service said

I had to leave it home.

He's supposedly a Knicks fan.

He sat courtside in the Nineties.

Did he watch Alonzo Mourning

Throw a punch at Larry Johnson,

And Jeff Van Gundy grab his leg?

Or did he root for Pat Riley?

Was he there to watch the basketball,

Or be seen by Page Six?

I finally find my seat

As we all cheer for Jalen Brunson.

When we notice Wembanyama,

Everyone chants, “Fuck you, Victor.”

And I look up at the owner’s box,

And I flip off James Dolan,

And I gander at the President

And he is fast asleep.

He is there with Howard Lutnick—

That’s the guy from 9/11,

Who lived next to Jeffrey Epstein,

And showed up on Epstein Island.

And I wonder if he’s sorry, as

I watch his face get droopy,

For what he did to Maria,

And to Jane Doe Number Four.

Why oh why do we allow him, still,

To shit on what is holy?

Tonight, inside the Mecca,

We will get to raise our voice.

So for his countless victims all across the world,

This one goes out to you.

And although we’re in Manhattan,

We will give him the Bronx cheer!

Boo boo boo boo

Boo boo boo boo

Boo boo boo boo

Boo boo boo boo