Can Loving a Child Prepare You for the PAIN of Losing Them?

Once you become a parent, your heart forever lives outside your body. In this deeply emotional episode of The Suffering Podcast, Kevin Donaldson sits down with Brian Sizemore, a father who experienced the unthinkable: the loss of his son Lucas, a young and passionate police officer who tragically died by suicide. From the overwhelming joy of fatherhood to the crushing pain of grief, Brian walks us through his journey of love, loss, and legacy. He shares how his surviving son Evan began to carry Lucas’s traits, how the guilt and “what ifs” never fade, and how the trauma still echoes through every part of his family’s life.

This episode is not just about heartbreak—it's about healing, hope, and raising awareness for suicide prevention. Brian introduces the “Not Today” campaign, urging anyone struggling with dark thoughts to simply hold on another day. Whether you’re a parent, law enforcement officer, mental health advocate, or someone battling your own demons, this powerful story will resonate. Subscribe for more real, raw conversations about life, loss, and overcoming adversity. Your support helps amplify messages that can save lives.

“When a child is born, everything changes.” Kevin and guest Brian Sizemore explore the deep emotional transformation of becoming a parent and the fear that comes from loving a child more than yourself.

Keywords: unconditional love, fear of losing a child, fatherhood emotions

Parenting is a full-time emotional job. The hosts discuss the false sense of control that comes with trying to protect your kids from suffering.

Keywords: parenting struggles, emotional burden, child protection anxiety

Brian, a grieving father and law enforcement advocate, opens up about losing his son, Lucas.

Keywords: grief after suicide, law enforcement family, coping with loss

Brian shares how his surviving son Evan has started mirroring Lucas’s qualities, unknowingly filling a heartbreaking emotional void.

Keywords: sibling grief, legacy of loss, healing after tragedy

Lucas, a young police officer, dies by suicide. Brian relives the moment he knew something was wrong and began his desperate journey to reach him.

Keywords: police officer suicide, mental health crisis, last phone call

Brian shares the emotionally raw memory of entering Lucas’s apartment—still filled with his scent, his cooking, and the final moments of his life.

Keywords: grief and memory, sudden loss, emotional trauma

Brian reflects on the fleeting anger, lasting guilt, and constant “what did I miss?” questions that haunt parents after a suicide.

Keywords: suicide aftermath, grieving process, parent’s guilt

Lucas’s death didn’t stop the pain—it passed it to his father, mother, brother, and entire community.

Keywords: suicide awareness, emotional ripple effect, family trauma

Brian recounts placing his hand on Lucas’s through the flag-draped body bag—one of the most gut-wrenching moments of his life.

Keywords: military-style honor, body bag reality, father’s grief

Brian shares the inspiration behind his suicide prevention campaign, encouraging those in crisis to pause: “Whatever you're thinking... not today.”

Keywords: suicide prevention, not today campaign, mental health hope

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