A Cop’s 15-Year Battle with the Bottle

We don’t drown because we step into the water.

We drown because we stay there.

On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Kevin Donaldson and Mike Felice sit down with Harrison County cop Bobby Cudele to unpack the suffering of alcoholism — from childhood abuse and altar-boy “Jesus juice” to blackouts, police funerals, and a 15-year run as a highly functional alcoholic.

Bobby’s story starts in a small North Arlington neighborhood where everybody knew what was happening behind closed doors… but nobody stepped in. A violent stepfather, an absent protector, no support at home, and a kid who found escape on playgrounds, in sports, and eventually at the bottom of a bottle.

Inside this episode you’ll hear:

🌊 The “deep river” of suffering and why getting out isn’t as simple as “just stop drinking”

🏠 Growing up in an abusive home where the whole town knew – and no one helped

⛪ Altar boy days, sacramental wine, and the early seeds of addiction

🚔 How alcohol became a coping tool in the law enforcement community

⚖️ Dark humor, wild calls, and outrageous police stories used to mask real pain

🧠 Anxiety, trauma, and why so many cops feel like they have nowhere safe to turn

❤️ The impact of Special Olympics, community, and serving individuals with disabilities

🍺 From malt liquor and Mad Dog to Stoli: the progression into full-blown alcoholism

🔁 How childhood wounds, family dysfunction, and unspoken pain fed the cycle

This is Part 1 of Bobby’s story — the chaos, the laughs, the wounds, and the bottle.

In Part 2, we’ll dive deeper into how it all crashed down and what recovery really looks like.

If you’re a cop, a first responder, a veteran, or someone who grew up in a house where love and violence lived in the same room… this episode is for you.

👉 Hit LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE to support conversations that pull people out of the deep water, one story at a time.

🔔 Turn on notifications so you don’t miss Part 2 – The Suffering of Alcoholism: The Cost & The Comeback.

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#TheSufferingPodcast #AlcoholismRecovery #PoliceMentalHealth #FirstResponderWellness #AddictionStory #ChildhoodTrauma #LawEnforcementLife #TraumaRecovery #SoberJourney #MentalHealthMatters

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DISCLAIMER:

This podcast discusses mental health, trauma, and personal struggle. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please seek professional help or contact your local emergency services.