Psychotherapist's Hacks on How to Change Your Life | Lori Gottlieb on Impact Theory

Change. What holds us back from accomplishing it, why do we fail time and time again in pursuit of it, and how can achieve it once and for all? It is what frees us from being stuck in our ways and it opens up our lives to new opportunities, perspectives, and paths that we didn’t even knew existed.

On this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu joins psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb to discuss such matters and more as they explore the power of therapy, how to move on from your past and forwards towards change, and why self-compassion is crucial to leading a happy life. They discuss how to become unstuck in your negative ways, how to truly achieve change in your life, why it’s crucial you need to have self-compassion, the freedom in knowing you have choices, how to see things from other people’s perspectives, how forgiveness is truly achieved, and ways to overcome trauma and pain.

Order Lori’s Book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’: lorigottlieb.com/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone

SHOW NOTES:

Stories | Lori shares the power of stories and why she chose that approach for her book. [0:10]

Unstuck | Lori discusses the power of therapy and its ability to move you forward in life. [1:23]

Change | Lori discusses our incredible ability to make changes to our personalities. [2:57]

Approach | Lori shares her approach as a therapist to encourage her patients to change. [4:41]

Choice | Lori discusses why people face such challenges when trying to make change. [6:35]

Comfort | Lori shares how she makes her patients comfortable with the idea of change. [9:10]

The List | Lori shares the guideline that can help you begin moving towards change. [10:05]

Self-Compassion | Lori discusses how to develop self-compassion in your life. [14:29]

Cognitive | Lori shares her approach in relation to cognitive behavioral therapy. [15:57]

Homework | Lori reveals the actionable homework she assigns to those that seek it. [16:45]

Freedom | Lori discusses the power of taking a breath and feeling the freedom of choice. [17:56]

Perspectives | Lori shares the power of putting yourself in other people’s shoes. [20:59]

Betrayal | Lori shares how she approaches cases of patients with hurting relationships. [23:41]

Cheating | Lori discusses what could really have been going on when a partner cheats. [25:35]

Patterns | Lori shares examples of unfinished business brought into relationships. [27:00]

Childhood | Lori discusses the influence of your childhood self has on your adult self. [28:27]

Forgiveness | Lori discusses the true nature of forgiveness and how it’s achieved. [29:50]

Overcome | Loris discusses how a couple can come back together after betrayal. [35:43]

The Sexes | Lori shares the similarities between both men and women in therapy. [38:23]

Trauma | Lori discusses pain and how it shapes our personalities if we don’t heal. [41:53]

Move Forward | Lori shares why you need to accept the freedom of adulthood. [44:36]

Reframe | Lori discusses how you should frame your mind to let go and move forward. [46:36]

Connect | Lori shares how you can continue to follow her and stay connected. [47:50]

QUOTES:

“…some of us, like sort of human nature, would rather stay in the familiar place, even if the familiar is miserable or unpleasant, than to say I’m gonna risk something and go to this place that makes me really uncomfortable.” [7:47]

“Most big transformations come about from the tiny, almost imperceptible, steps that we take along the way.” [9:49]

“People act a certain way because they have to keep you at a distance so that you can’t see their pain.” [43:16]

FOLLOW LORI:

Website: lorigottlieb.com

TED Talk: ted.com/speakers/lori_gottlieb

Podcast: lorigottlieb.com/podcast

Column: theatlantic.com/projects/dear-therapist

Twitter: twitter.com/LoriGottlieb1

Facebook: facebook.com/GottliebLori

Instagram: instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author