Stop Giving a F*ck: The Science Behind Approval Seeking Men and How to Escape It | MTM

Why do you care so much about what other people think? In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, hosts Jon Macaskill and Will Schneider sit down with Army veteran, mental performance coach, and Skull Sessions podcast host Andy Riise to dismantle the most quietly destructive pattern in men's lives — the approval trap. There's a name for what's running in the background of your decisions, and it isn't a character flaw. It's biology. It's called Fear of Negative Evaluation, and it's one of the most studied psychological patterns in clinical research.

The guys break down why your brain literally cannot tell the difference between social rejection and physical pain, why the audience judging you is half the size you think, and how approval seeking shows up in ways most men never connect to the root cause — over-committing at work, constant reassurance seeking in relationships, buying your kids' affection, and still chasing approval from people who haven't been in your life for decades. Understanding it is the first step to breaking free.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What Fear of Negative Evaluation is and why every man is dealing with it whether he knows it or not

The spotlight effect and the Cornell research that proves you're performing for half the audience you think

How approval seeking silently destroys your career, your relationships, and your sense of self

What "ghosts" are — and how to identify whose voice is still running in your head

Why it's not about not caring — it's about choosing deliberately what deserves your care

Practical tools you can use this week to start breaking free from the approval trap

Follow Andy:

If you've ever held back in a meeting, softened your opinion to keep the peace, or made a decision based on what someone else might think — this conversation will change the way you see yourself and the way you move through the world.

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This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.com