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Your Nervous System Is Destroying Your Relationship And You Don't Even Know It w/ EJ & Tarah Kerwin
Posted
May 28, 2026
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97
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May 28, 2026
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1:08:52Now PlayingHave you ever been mid-conversation with your partner, felt your jaw tighten, your stomach drop, your brain go sideways — and some part of you already looking for the exit? That's not a character flaw. That's your nervous system treating your partner like a threat.
EJ and Tarah Kerwin are couples therapists, founders of Relationship Renovation, and parents of twins born on their honeymoon. EJ — a yoga teacher and therapist — turned avoidant the moment real chaos arrived, and Tarah had a name for it: Buddhist motherf***er. They had to learn everything they now teach by surviving their own marriage in real time.
This conversation goes deep on why your success traits destroy your closest relationships, how your childhood nervous system patterns are running your marriage without your consent, and what emotional safety actually feels like when a man finally builds it.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Why the traits that made you successful at work become your biggest relationship wreckers
What a genogram reveals about your patterns — and why compassion always follows
FINE = Feelings Inside Not Expressed — and what that silence costs you
The difference between hypo arousal and being regulated — most men confuse the two
Triple H — Heard, Hugged, or Helped? Ask before you fix
Your partner is your greatest teacher — if you stop running from the lesson
RELATED EPISODES:
Ep. 105 — Learning to Respond Without Reactivity with Dr. Charles Freligh
Ep. 120 — Creating Emotional Stability with Jay Fields
Ep. 124 — No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover
FOLLOW EJ & TARAH:
Website, Podcast& Couples Coaching: relationshiprenovation.com
Book: Relationship Innovation at Homework — Amazon
GET MORE FROM MTM:
Text MTM to 33777 — free weekly newsletter
Subscribe & All Episodes: mentalkingmindfulness.com
A2A COURSE:
12 modules on attention, presence & performance. Self-paced. Built for people who hate the word mindfulness.
focusnowtraining.com/a2a
→ This conversation maps directly to Module 4 of A2A: Regulating Your Nervous System Under Pressure
BRING FNT TO YOUR TEAM:
Custom attention, resilience & leadership training. In-person or online.
focusnowtraining.com/contact
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