Pro-Trump Manatees, Arminian Riots, and Big Tech Censorship

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 1/15/2021.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like how Arminians are storming the gates of Heaven to protest election, wild manatees are suddenly coming out in a strong show of support for Donald Trump, and censorship is hitting anyone to the right of Stalin thanks to "Big T." Kyle's favorite bird to pronounce eats an alligator, samosas fly into space, and the squirrels are up to something! It's another The Babylon Bee news show!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Be sure to check out</span> <a href="http://youtube.com/thebabylonbee"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at</span> <a href="https://babylonbee.com/plans"><span style="font-weight: 400;">https://babylonbee.com/plans</span></a></p> <p><strong>Introduction</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kyle celebrates his birthday with the California Highway Patrol.</span></p> <p><strong>Stuff That's Good</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kyle likes Pete Vik's</span> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Peter-Vik-ebook/dp/B07S215J5K/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&amp;keywords=peter+vik+hope&amp;qid=1610590709&amp;sr=8-1"> <em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hope</span></em></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">and</span> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Light-Darkness-Peter-Vik-ebook/dp/B08N2PT6CV/ref=pd_sim_351_1/144-4659957-1812033?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_i=B08N2PT6CV&amp;pd_rd_r=42d675bb-50d7-43f6-9f72-b40d46ca8a45&amp;pd_rd_w=glqsM&amp;pd_rd_wg=vGfJh&amp;pf_rd_p=52622570-ce87-4046-87cf-402c2bd33577&amp;pf_rd_r=4EQYQ7RMXV1J3DN7ER90&amp;psc=1&amp;refRID=4EQYQ7RMXV1J3DN7ER90"> <em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Light & Darkness</span></em></a><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ethan likes</span> <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1205489/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Gran Torino</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">… again. And</span> <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075029/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Outlaw Josey Wales</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Okay, Clint Eastwood stuff n general.</span></p> <p><strong>Weird News</strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/01/12/Game-warden-uses-marksmanship-to-rescue-deer-with-locked-antlers/3781610492537/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Game warden uses marksmanship to rescue deer with locked antlers</span></a></p> <p><strong>Fulfilled prophecy?</strong> <a href="https://www.foxnews.com/great-outdoors/nyc-squirrel-attacks-rise-queens-neighborhood"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Mysterious NYC squirrel attacks rise in Queens neighborhood: Report</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/01/12/Website-seeks-professional-binge-watcher-to-watch-Netflix-eat-pizza/7881610479748/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Website seeks 'professional binge watcher' to watch Netflix, eat pizza</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/01/11/Samosa-sent-to-space-by-British-eatery-crash-lands-in-France/9301610403369/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Samosa sent to 'space' by British eatery crash-lands in France</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/reports-two-wild-giraffes-dwarfism-leave-scientists-disbelief-180976703/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Scientists Report First Instances of Dwarf Giraffes</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/animal-news/florida-manatee-has-trump-written-its-side-officials-seek-information-n1253781"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Florida manatee has 'TRUMP' etched into its side; officials seek information</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/animal-news/florida-bird-caught-video-swallowing-whole-alligator-n1250755"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Florida bird caught on video swallowing whole alligator</span></a></p> <p><strong>Kyle gets three Guinness World Records since it is his birthday!</strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/01/11/Man-chops-through-apples-while-juggling-knives-for-Guinness-record/6471610381218/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Man chops through apples while juggling knives for Guinness record</span></a></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="https://www.odditycentral.com/news/siblings-set-world-record-for-the-highest-combined-age-1042-years.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Siblings Set World Record for the Highest Combined Age, 1042 Years</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/01/13/Athlete-does-64-hand-release-pushups-in-one-minute-for-new-record/1961610556052/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Athlete does 64 hand-release pushups in one minute for new record</span></a></p> <p><strong>Stories of the Week</strong></p> <p><strong>Story 1</strong> <a href="https://babylonbee.com/news/arminians-storm-gods-throne-room-to-protest-election"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Arminians Storm God's Throne Room To Protest Election</span></a></p> <p><strong>Summary:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">A gang of rogue Arminians has broken into God's throne room in order to protest the doctrine of election, sources confirmed Thursday. Hordes of the anti-Calvinist protesters stormed the gates of heaven before angels were forced to fall back and barricade the throne room.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"Down with the predestined, sovereign election of God!" cried one man from Florida as he burst into the throne room wearing a buffalo hat. "This whole thing is rigged! Divine interference!"</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Arminians were seen scaling the walls of heaven. One managed to hang a "Who is able to resist His will?" banner on the gates of the place, while others busted in and started roaming the streets of gold looking for the Lord's throne room. A few made it in but were instantly killed by being in the presence of the Almighty God, sparking further protests.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There was very little looting, though a few Chick-fil-A sandwiches were taken.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At publishing time, Arminians had suggested the protesters were actually Calvinists disguised as Arminians to make them look bad. Calvinists say there is no proof of this as most of the protesters had neither beards nor smug looks on their faces.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>The Real Story: Oh wait, the capitol building got stormed too?</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">The capitol building was stormed, presumably by pro-Trump fanatics who think the 2020 election was rigged. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-A man in a buffalo hat was there and another man walked off with a podium. One man ransacked Nancy Pelosi's office. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Also, in related news, The Babylon Bee slack channel simply titled #Theology because #ArguingAboutCalvinism was too long, has kicked off with many fiery screeds about free will, election, predestination, and the love of God.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Imagine if Trump had won, none of this would have happened. this is Antifa at the capitol:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Antifa leader "Brothers, fret we may, but a fair election has ended and we must accept the results, though they were not in our favor. Lay down your bricks. Remove the vodka soaked rags from your molotov cocktails and drink with me as we accept these results like men. We shall leave the Capitol unmolested, we will don no buffalo garments, for we are not like those savages. Yes, we have a line we will not cross, and this is it."  Then they sing an ancient Antifa war song about honor, tragedy, and losing with dignity.. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sad part of the story, in addition to the erosion of our norms and culture, was that a woman Ashli Babbitt was shot dead by the police, several other rioters died from medical emergencies, and a capitol police officer, Brian Sicknick, was killed in the riot at the Capitol.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>See also:</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Our NEW animation about</span> <a href="https://babylonbee.com/video/20"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Who Was Really Behind The Attack On The Capitol</span></a></p> <p><strong>Story 2</strong> <a href="https://babylonbee.com/news/after-being-kicked-off-social-media-trump-forced-to-go-door-to-door-and-shout-rigged-election"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">After Being Kicked Off Social Media, Trump Forced To Go Door To Door And Shout 'RIGGED ELECTION!'</span></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Summary:</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"> After being permanently banned from social media, President Trump has been forced to knock on doors across the country, one door at a time. If anyone opens the door, he will shout one of his classic lines such as "RIGGED ELECTION!" or "Hillary is a loser! SAD!" at them before moving on to the next house.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Real Story:  Big Tech is going nuts on the censorship front.</strong><strong><br /></strong><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/11/opinion/trump-twitter-facebook-parler.html"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Donald Trump got suspended from Twitter and Facebook for "inciting a riot" </span></a></p> <p><a href="https://blog.twitter.com/en_us/topics/company/2020/suspension.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Twitter's statement</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">said, "After close review of recent Tweets from the @realDonaldTrump account and the context around them —</span> <strong>specifically how they are being received and interpreted</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">on and off Twitter — we have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence." </span></p> <p><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/09/technology/apple-google-parler.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Amazon, Apple, and Google got Parler got taken down</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ron-paul-blocked-from-accessing-facebook-page-over-violating-community-standards/ar-BB1cEZwR"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Ron Paul has been blocked from Facebook</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/twitter-bans-70000-qanon-accounts-as-conservatives-report-lost-followers/ar-BB1cG6Vl"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Conservatives, libertarians and otherwise non-woke people seem to be shedding followers on Twitter and also 70,000 Q accounts are being booted en masse.</span></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Conservatives have been quick to point out the double standards and hypocrisy of social media companies letting leftist incitements to violence stay and slamming the hammer down on conservatives.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Revealing CNN article:</span> <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/12/politics/donald-trump-riot-impeachment/index.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Defiant Trump denounces violence but takes no responsibility for inciting deadly riot</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="https://blog.twitter.com/en_us/topics/company/2020/suspension.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Twitter blog about Trump tweets</span></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Story 3</strong> <a href="https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-releases-skin-color-chart-to-determine-who-gets-federal-aid"> <strong>Biden Unveils Skin Color Chart To Determine Who Gets Federal Aid</strong></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Summary:</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress. </span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"</span><strong>Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses (</strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nv82wuKcWs"><strong>real quote</strong></a><strong>)</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">," Biden informed the nation. "We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey…"</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Experts praised the administration's new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Real Story: From Joe Biden's website</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">"</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">To address the racial wealth gap, the opportunity gap, and the jobs gap for Black and Brown people, Biden will launch a historic effort to empower small business creation and expansion in economically disadvantaged areas – and particularly for Black-, Latino-, AAPI-, and Native American-owned businesses."</span></p> <p><a href="https://joebiden.com/racial-economic-equity/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Joe Biden Website</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/biden-announces-plans-to-boost-black-and-latino-finances/2020/07/28/448db2a0-d0cd-11ea-8d32-1ebf4e9d8e0d_story.html"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Washington Post Article On Joe Biden Small Business Plan</span></a></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Joe Biden's reported nominee for head of DOJ,</span> <a href="https://www.bizpacreview.com/2021/01/12/tucker-reveals-biden-doj-pick-once-said-melanin-gives-blacks-superior-physical-and-mental-abilities-1015562/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Kristen Clarke</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">said back in her Harvard days, "Melanin endows Blacks with greater mental, physical and spiritual abilities — something which cannot be measured based on Eurocentric standards."</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Topic of the Week: </strong></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Big Tech Censorship</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">, what is the role of social media?</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /> <br /></span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Libertarian private property trumps all so a private company can just do what it wants? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Federal Section 230 protections protect social media companies as being considered platforms instead of publishers- is that cool? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-</span><a href="https://notthebee.com/article/jack-is-straight-up-gloating-about-parler-being-destroyed"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Jack was gloating about Parler being taken down</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">-Are we heading to a place where conservatives have to make their own phones, own networks, own web providers, own banks?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They made their own, Parler, and it got taken down by Amazon, Google, and Apple. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">GoDaddy took away the</span> <a href="https://notthebee.com/article/the-worlds-biggest-gun-forum-was-booted-off-the-internet-because-they-can-be"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">domain registration for a gun forum AR-15.com</span></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/01/10/marriott-campaign-donations-congress/"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Big megacorporations like AMEX, AMAZON, Marriot, Commerce Bank,  Dow, Hallmark, Blue Cross, Charles Shwab, their PACs are cutting off donations</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">to 147 Republicans who supported efforts against certifying the election results.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At least three</span> <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/third-bank-cuts-ties-with-trump-after-capitol-riot/ar-BB1cIItv"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">banks are cutting off ties from Trump.</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">(Signature, Deutsche, and Profession banks) </span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>What are the implications for The Babylon Bee?</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">What threats do we have and why do</span> <strong>we need subscribers to</strong> <a href="http://babylonbee.com/plans"><strong>support us</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></a></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The hypocrisy of Big Tech of what they allow to remain up.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Hate Mail</strong></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Will says we are making Christianity look bad again.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Subscriber Portion</strong></p> <p><strong>Behind the Scenes Update</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When this comes out Kyle will be at Winter Bee Con in Michigan.</span></p> <p><strong>Mailbag</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Jackson Baker sent us a video about how the proposal went and answers some of Ethan's questions like if Kelsey got bored reading the list of tips from the Bee.</span></p> <p><strong>Bonus Hate Mail</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Doug incites violence we think and maybe thinks we created social media?</span></p> <p><a href="https://babylonbee.com/headline?sort=hot"><strong>Headline Forums</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Got Any Cool Stories? </strong></p> <p><strong>Story Time With Ethan Nicolle</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Email us your cool stories!</span></p>