March 12, 2020
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13:59Now PlayingThe Narcissist's Psychosexuality: From Fantasy to Deviance and Beyond (ENGLISH responses) - Part 16 of 22
QUESTIONS (translated from Hungarian)
19. As we have heard, narcissists have masochistic desires only occasionally, while most of the time they prefer submissive partners, for example, borderlines or codependents. These individuals might even enjoy the masochistic role in sex, and that can create a strong trauma bonding between them. This may be a reason why a narcissist chooses such a partner. Still it rarely happens that they actually become partners in this on a sexual level. Sam, please explain the desire for submission and masochism. Why is it so strong, especially in women? What kind of childhood trauma can it be traced back to?
20. Now let’s talk about fetishes. Age play is a popular fetish. It is a role play in which one or more partners act as if they were of a different age than their actual age. Ruffled dresses, diapers, toys or cribs are popular accessories during these types of sessions. This fetish can be sexual or non-sexual. If it is sexual, elements of incest are often included in the role play. For example, an “older” player plays an older relative: mother/father, aunt/uncle or sibling.
One of the partners often acts like a baby, a child, an adolescent or a teenager. Infantilism, incest and father-daughter fetishes are all common forms of age play. Why is it so popular among narcissists and psychopaths? I have narcissists in my praxis who admittedly have this fetish. I saw a tendency that this desire amplified when they found a new source who had a baby or toddler, so they were surrounded by diapers, feeding bottles, dummies, cribs, talc powder etc. on a daily basis. Is this fetish related to one of the most prevalent narcissistic deviances: pedophilia? Can it be a legitimized or latent version thereof?
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