Prof Sam Vaknin
@samvaknin·443K subscribers·2.3K videos
Why Narcissist DISCARDS MEMORY of YOU (Having Idealized and Devalued It)
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December 12, 2024
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23:06Now PlayingWATCH How Narcissist Remembers You (Dark, then Rosy Retrospection, Nostalgic Recall)
The semantic (skills and education) memory of narcissists is intact. They have gaps only with their episodic (autobiographical) memory. They confabulate to cover up for it.
When they do recall anything - interpersonal relationships included - it is either via dark or via rosy retrospection (nostalgic recall), idealizing , devaluing, and discarding (dissociating) the memories the way they do people.
Management of internal objects to conform to narratives (grandiosity, shared fantasy).
External objects do not affect internal ones. Narcissist seeks to modify external objects to match internal ones. When this fails, he discards external objects, but remains stuck with persecutory internal ones.
Borderlines also go through idealization and devaluation cycles and they are highly dissociative, but their selective surviving memories are way closer to reality because they retain the affective correlates of their experiences.
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