Prof Sam Vaknin
@samvaknin·443K subscribers·2.3K videos
Mad vs. Sad Victim: Narcissist as Perpetrator
Posted
March 11, 2026
Views
9,830
Likes
579
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28
Engagement
6.17%
March 11, 2026
9,830
579
28
6.17%
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17:44Now PlayingLundy Bancroft
Mad vs. Sad Victim
Contemptuous vs. Dysregulated Abuser
Perpetrator vs. Abuser as just Another Victim
In narcissistic abuse, the victim is lured into a delusional fantasy, exploited (the 4 Ss), and then discarded offhandedly and cruelly.
In typical abuse, the victim is coercively controlled and punished, sometimes arbitrarily. But there is no fantasy and rarely any exploitation or discard (such abusers are typically stalkers).
The fantasy and the exploitation (use plus abuse) the reason the emotional cost of narcissistic abuse is much higher and the recovery much slower (multiple grief).
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