Mad vs. Sad Victim: Narcissist as Perpetrator
March 11, 2026
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17:44Now PlayingMad vs. Sad Victim: Narcissist as Perpetrator
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as posted by the channelLundy Bancroft
Mad vs. Sad Victim
Contemptuous vs. Dysregulated Abuser
Perpetrator vs. Abuser as just Another Victim
In narcissistic abuse, the victim is lured into a delusional fantasy, exploited (the 4 Ss), and then discarded offhandedly and cruelly.
In typical abuse, the victim is coercively controlled and punished, sometimes arbitrarily. But there is no fantasy and rarely any exploitation or discard (such abusers are typically stalkers).
The fantasy and the exploitation (use plus abuse) the reason the emotional cost of narcissistic abuse is much higher and the recovery much slower (multiple grief).
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