Thais Gibson Personal Development School
@thepersonaldevelopmentschool·499K subscribers·3.8K videos
They Pull Away… But Here’s What They’re Feeling
Posted
March 11, 2026
Views
5,009
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222
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46
March 11, 2026
5,009
222
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Inside the Mind of a Fearful Avoidant When They Pull Away
Have you ever wondered what’s actually happening inside the mind of a Fearful Avoidant when they suddenly pull away from a relationship?
To the outside world, it can feel confusing, abrupt, or even personal. But internally, Fearful Avoidants are often experiencing a flood of old emotional wounds being activated all at once.
Episode Summary
In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down what Fearful Avoidant commonly think and feel when they deactivate in relationships.
When a Fearful Avoidant becomes triggered, their subconscious mind often pulls up stored emotional memories tied to past pain. The current situation may activate not just the present conflict but years of unresolved wounds related to abandonment, betrayal, rejection, or feeling unseen.
As these emotions intensify, Fearful Avoidant may enter powerful trauma responses such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This can lead to sudden thoughts about leaving the relationship, doubting compatibility, or questioning trust, even if those thoughts don’t reflect how they truly feel about their partner long term.
In this episode, you’ll learn the most common thought patterns Fearful Avoidant experience when pulling away and why trauma can create strong all-or-nothing thinking in relationships.
Understanding these patterns can help both fearful avoidants and their partners respond with greater clarity, emotional awareness, and compassion.
Key Takeaways
✔️ What deactivation means in Fearful Avoidant Attachment
✔️ Why trauma can trigger sudden urges to leave a relationship
✔️ The common thought pattern: “I don’t want to be with this person anymore”
✔️ Why Fearful Avoidant may suddenly believe they chose the wrong partner
✔️ How feeling unseen can lead to assumptions that a partner doesn’t care
✔️ Why spite or “I’ll show them” reactions can appear during deactivation
✔️ The connection between trust wounds and withdrawal
✔️ Why Fearful Avoidant may believe they shouldn’t be in relationships at all
✔️ How trauma strengthens all-or-nothing thinking patterns
Timestamps
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
📝 Read the PDS Blog
Let’s Connect on Socials:
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