Thais Gibson Personal Development School
@thepersonaldevelopmentschool·499K subscribers·3.8K videos
THIS Is Why Dismissive Avoidants Are in On & Off Relationships
Posted
September 8, 2026
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September 8, 2026
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Why can a Dismissive Avoidant seem deeply invested at the beginning of a relationship, suddenly pull away once things become serious, and then reach out again after creating distance? This cycle can reflect an internal conflict between wanting connection and fearing what deeper attachment may bring.
Episode Summary
In this video, Thais Gibson explains why Dismissive Avoidants can become caught in on-and-off relationship cycles and what both partners can do to stop repeating the pattern.
You’ll learn how attachment needs can conflict with subconscious fears of vulnerability, dependence, criticism, and losing independence, why deeper attachment can trigger distancing and flaw-finding, and why a Dismissive Avoidant may reconnect once enough space has reduced those fears. Thais also explores how repeated cycles can erode a relationship and why addressing Core Wounds, communicating needs and boundaries, and maintaining your own relationship standards are essential for creating healthier patterns.
Key Takeaways
✔️ Dismissive Avoidants can simultaneously desire attachment and fear deeper emotional connection
✔️ Attachment fears may become stronger once a relationship develops a deeper bond
✔️ Flaw-finding, withdrawal, or breaking up can function as strategies for creating emotional distance
✔️ After enough distance, fears may decrease and feelings for the relationship can become easier to access again
✔️ Repeated on-and-off cycles can create resentment, confusion, and instability for both partners
✔️ Dismissive Avoidants can work on underlying fears while developing healthier communication and boundaries
✔️ Their partners also need to identify their standards, communicate their needs, and evaluate whether meaningful change is happening
Timestamps
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
📝 Read the PDS Blog
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