Confession of Dismissive-Avoidant Narcissist (FULL TEXT in DESCRIPTION)

Confession of a female narcissist with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style:

"I lure potential providers of at least 2 of the 4Ss by parading the wounded child or victim and thus triggering their protective (maternal) reflexes as healers, saviors, rescuers, and fixers and their sense of justice.

When the providers seek to introduce emotions and intimacy into the relationship, I recoil aggressively, push them away, and encourage them to leave me be satisfy these needs with others.

If the resulting liaison is Platonic, at least someone else now suffers the headache. It is a relief to have gotten rid of a demanding, nagging presence. I continue to enjoy all the benefits (2 of the 4 Ss) while paying no costs in terms of scarce resources such as my time and attention.

If it ends up involving sex as well as love or intimacy, it affords me the added benefit of being able to weaponize the guilt and shame of the straying providers in order to modify their behaviors and secure the long-term availability of 2 of the 4 Ss.

I become possessive (“jealous”) only when the commitment of the providers is equivocal, when I cannot take them for granted because of their personality (promiscuous, vengeful, defiant, dysregulated) or because they regard the transaction as lopsided and are shopping for a better one."

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