How Narcissist Infects YOU with a FALSE SELF

Victim develops a transient False Self as imaginary friend and transitional object to protect against the aggressor-abuser and to placate him.

Unpredictability and Uncertainty (Intermittent Reinforcement)

The abuser acts unpredictably, capriciously, inconsistently and irrationally. This serves to render others dependent upon the next twist and turn of the abuser, his next inexplicable whim, upon his next outburst, denial, or smile.

Withholding (of sex, affection, care, and empathy) and other passive-aggressive behaviors (such as “silent treatment”) are integral to this variant of abusive conduct.

The abuser makes sure that HE is the only reliable element in the lives of his nearest and dearest – by shattering the rest of their world through his seemingly insane behaviour. He perpetuates his stable presence in their lives – by destabilizing their own.

TIP

Refuse to accept such behaviour. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, predilections, preferences, and priorities.

imaginary companion and symbolic play. Also called invisible playmate.

transitional object (security blanket)

false self

true self

The abuser’s behavioral tactics and cues:

ambiguity

ambiguity tolerance

indeterminacy

secure base

secure attachment

security theory

security operations

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