Trump “Brings Back” Plastic Straws While Grocery Prices Skyrocket

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Donald Trump proudly announced on Friday that he was going to be signing an executive order “bringing back” plastic straws, addressing an issue that really doesn’t matter to anyone’s life. But this announcement came at the same time that the January jobs report was released showing that job creation is slowing. At the same time, reports of consumer prices going up are becoming too much to ignore, so the plastic straw announcement was just a diversion from stories that actually matter to our lives. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins explains what happened.

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*This transcript was generated by a third-party transcription software company, so please excuse any typos.

Donald Trump announced on Friday that he is finally going to do something about the issue that obviously propelled him to the White House. No, I'm not talking about the prices that consumers are paying for groceries. I'm not talking about drug prices. I'm not talking about, uh, immigration, even I'm talking about plastic straws because as we all know, that is obviously the, uh, biggest issue facing Americans today. We're not, we're not overly worried about foreign policy. You know, what Russia's doing to Ukraine or what's happening in the Gaza Strip. We're, we're not worried about the fact that our environment is, uh, quickly becoming uninhabitable. No, no. The big issue facing every single one of us that we sit down at the table and talk to our kids about every night is plastic straws. Here is what Donald Trump announced on Truth Social on Friday. I will be signing an executive order next week, ending the ridiculous Biden push for paper straws, which don't work back to plastic, he says in all caps, so you can rest easier at night, folks, knowing that you're not gonna have a mushy straw to deal with anymore.

I, I mean, you're not gonna be able to afford the beverages that the straws go in, but that, that's, you know, beside the point. The point is, if you ever, or if you're, you know, one of the wealthy elite in this country and can afford sodas moving forward, you don't have to worry about a mushy straw. Now, obviously, I'm being, uh, insanely facetious right now. Plastic straws, paper straws, uh, definitely not even on anybody's radar. It's not something that people stay up at night worrying about like they do about the price of consumer goods, but this is what the President of the United States has chosen to focus on. I am going to distract the American public by telling them I am bringing pa uh, plastic straws back. Now, another thing happened on Friday that may explain why Donald Trump needed some sort of distraction. And that other thing that happened on Friday, of course, was the fact that we got the jobs report.

The first jobs report of the Trump administration, even though it only covered 11 days of his administration, uh, was horrible. It was below expectations only 143,000 jobs created in the month of January. Granted, I know Biden was president for 19 and a half of those days, but this is Trump's economy now, and of course, that lackluster jobs report comes before we have the mass government layoffs, before the mass deportations really got going. So it may be the best jobs report that we get for the next four years, because Trump has no plan whatsoever to bring jobs to the United States or to create more. Furthermore, we also were getting reports on Friday about the staggering cost of consumer goods.

As everybody knows, egg prices have of course, increased by over 35% over the last 12 months. Now we're starting to see the prices of other goods that we need from the grocery store going up. Milk is going up, gasoline prices are going up. Everything seems to be going up, and inflation is starting to tick back up. So Trump needed a distraction. Hey, don't worry about the fact that I told you I was gonna bring prices down. Uh, and I've done literally nothing to, to solve that. What you need to worry about is mushy straws, right? 'cause that's, that's what's really affecting your family. You know, that that's what's keeping you from owning a home is, is a mushy straw.